Last night I dreampt I was a jockey in a horse race. I could sense my horses's feelings or whatever. I looked outside and it was raining really badly. Then our horses were taken away. When we got back the sky was clear and the ground was dry.
I can't remember anything else.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Stream of Consciousness.
Hi Blogosphere.
I know I've been distant, and I know at some point or another I probably promised to write more often. I don't know who I was fooling, considering I now journal more because of the fact that I HAVE since I was just beginning middle school. And now I'm beginning COLLEGE. Shit.
I just felt the urge to spew words from my fingers because I just ended a very one sided conversation with a certain best friend and realized how I like the feeling of my fingers flying across a keyboard. It's especially easy when words just fly out of my brain, and I can make my fingers fly even faster. Even if I'm not eloquent at all. Whatever.
Right now I'm sitting in the hall outside my room because I'm in one of the moods where I'm pissed off for no reason, and couldn't stand being in there anymore. Actually, I know why I'm pissed off, but that is not the point of this entry. This entry is selfish, and it's purely about me. So I'm just going to try to forget why I'm out here in this hall in the first place.
None of this is probably making sense, but like I said, this blog is purely selfish. I feel like moving my fingers across a keyboard, and so that's what I will do. Now I'm going in circles.
PROGRESSING. I'm sitting out here with Storm, right outside my room. I think my original plan was to go to the lounge, but I realized going there would be pointless, so this is the best I can do. I can't decide if I like sitting here, watching and hearing people go by. One part of me is intrigued, the other is just pissed off. And part of me wants to be alone right now. But honestly, where I am going to go for THAT to occur. I've tried for 9 months to find a place to be alone. It's a damn hard thing to do.
I think I'm beginning to run out of steam, unfortunately. On a somewhat related note I'm completely ready for this year to end. Tomorrow is the last day of class. I have a homework assignment to turn in. After tomorrow, all that stands between me and Home Sweet Sunnyvale are three finals. I'm so anxious just to be done with it all. I like school and everything, but I just want to be home, in my room. Megan is ready for summer vacation.
When I start talking in third person, it means it's probably time for me to go. I'm entering a loopy stage, akin to panthering. I'm not tired though. Just worked up. And this blogging is dispensing energy, which is a very good thing. I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. Part of that is due to the fact that my bed has become the most uncomfortable thing to sleep on. And the reason for THAT is because my bed is also a couch. And has become broken because five million people sit on it everyday. I think part of the reason I am worked up is because I am ready to go home and have my own space for a time. I think it's driving me crazy. My bed isn't just my bed. It's a central part of the room. And that's okay, but I'm so looking forward to this summer, when my bed is MY BED. To be able to sleep, I've had to put blankets down. Sometimes I consider taking NyQuil or something, but I don't feel like developing a dependency. Sometimes I wish I could just fall asleep when I told myself to. One of the reasons I'm out here is because I know that if I go to bed I'll just lie there, awake and uncomfortable. So I end up staying up late because I can't sleep, which is bad. Obviously.
I think I'm done now.
I know I've been distant, and I know at some point or another I probably promised to write more often. I don't know who I was fooling, considering I now journal more because of the fact that I HAVE since I was just beginning middle school. And now I'm beginning COLLEGE. Shit.
I just felt the urge to spew words from my fingers because I just ended a very one sided conversation with a certain best friend and realized how I like the feeling of my fingers flying across a keyboard. It's especially easy when words just fly out of my brain, and I can make my fingers fly even faster. Even if I'm not eloquent at all. Whatever.
Right now I'm sitting in the hall outside my room because I'm in one of the moods where I'm pissed off for no reason, and couldn't stand being in there anymore. Actually, I know why I'm pissed off, but that is not the point of this entry. This entry is selfish, and it's purely about me. So I'm just going to try to forget why I'm out here in this hall in the first place.
None of this is probably making sense, but like I said, this blog is purely selfish. I feel like moving my fingers across a keyboard, and so that's what I will do. Now I'm going in circles.
PROGRESSING. I'm sitting out here with Storm, right outside my room. I think my original plan was to go to the lounge, but I realized going there would be pointless, so this is the best I can do. I can't decide if I like sitting here, watching and hearing people go by. One part of me is intrigued, the other is just pissed off. And part of me wants to be alone right now. But honestly, where I am going to go for THAT to occur. I've tried for 9 months to find a place to be alone. It's a damn hard thing to do.
I think I'm beginning to run out of steam, unfortunately. On a somewhat related note I'm completely ready for this year to end. Tomorrow is the last day of class. I have a homework assignment to turn in. After tomorrow, all that stands between me and Home Sweet Sunnyvale are three finals. I'm so anxious just to be done with it all. I like school and everything, but I just want to be home, in my room. Megan is ready for summer vacation.
When I start talking in third person, it means it's probably time for me to go. I'm entering a loopy stage, akin to panthering. I'm not tired though. Just worked up. And this blogging is dispensing energy, which is a very good thing. I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. Part of that is due to the fact that my bed has become the most uncomfortable thing to sleep on. And the reason for THAT is because my bed is also a couch. And has become broken because five million people sit on it everyday. I think part of the reason I am worked up is because I am ready to go home and have my own space for a time. I think it's driving me crazy. My bed isn't just my bed. It's a central part of the room. And that's okay, but I'm so looking forward to this summer, when my bed is MY BED. To be able to sleep, I've had to put blankets down. Sometimes I consider taking NyQuil or something, but I don't feel like developing a dependency. Sometimes I wish I could just fall asleep when I told myself to. One of the reasons I'm out here is because I know that if I go to bed I'll just lie there, awake and uncomfortable. So I end up staying up late because I can't sleep, which is bad. Obviously.
I think I'm done now.
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