Dream.

I was performing in some Finding Nemo show with a live audience. The set was that big anemone in the first scene, but made out of big soft pillows. I was either Nemo or a giant pearl. The person hosting the show (Marlin?) was entertaining the audience and I was hiding, waiting for my cue. Then the person came and told me to take over for a bit, which I was really hesitant to do at first. The person just told me to ask them questions. So I went out in front of the crowd and started asking questions. I wrote the answers down on a piece of paper. My answers weren't any good. The audience was suddenly sitting at a long rectangular table, like we were about to have dinner. I was still entertaining them though. Since my questions weren't any good, I looked around. Travis Belinski was there, and since my guitar was laying next to the table (with capo) I asked him to play a song. He picked up the guitar and made it seem like he was going to play something, but somebody started playing the drums. By the time I looked over the drums had turned into PVC pipe and plastic drums, played by Dom or Colin.

The Great HP

In a sentence or two, I will start obsessing over Harry Potter. Just thought I should give you fair warning.

As it is the summer time, and as I wanted something to fill my time with, I have been re-reading the entire Harry Potter series. I was reading it casually, and then all of a sudden I was reading it addictively. Today I finished Order of the Pheonix, which has always been my least favorite book in the series. I've always thought it was too long, too angsty, and too political. It was downright frustrating at times. And while all of this remains true, to a certain extent, it's just so much better this time around. He's 15. He has to act like a teenager at some point! And this book introduces so many important and integral characters, places, and ideas that it's made be realize it's really the beginning of the actual HP storyline. (Luna Lovegood and the Room of Requirement, for example. Also, if you pay attention, you can pick up on the idea of horcruxes (Voldemort talks about how he has taken measures to prevent death, and the locket is mentioned when they are cleaning out Grimmauld Place), and the fact that Snape really is good.) I've reread the whole series before after finishing the last book, so I don't know why I didn't pick up on it before.

So I decided to watch the Order of the Pheonix movie tonight, which is still currently playing, having only watched 1 hour and 50 minutes of it. And oh my god, it is terrible. Some of the scenes in it are awkward, acted and edited badly, and don't give the movie any sense of pace or flow. The screen play was adapted horribly, and while I know they have to figure out how to turn 870 pages of angst and oppression and turn it into a 2.5 hour film, I feel like it could have been so much better. I can't even imagine what these movies must look like to people who haven't read a single Harry Potter book. But this movie is pretty terrible. Some actors are wonderful, but I've never been a Daniel Radcliffe fan. He seems awkward, but not in the way Harry Potter would be awkward. He's awkward in the bad actor kind of awkward. The portrayal of Hermione is all right (HOLD ON. SIRIUS BLACK JUST SHOWED UP AT THE MINISTRY, SAID "GET AWAY FROM MY GODSON," AND THEN PUNCHED LUCIUS MALFOY IN THE FACE. UM. NO.), but not as perfect as it could be. I love Rupert Grint.... but that's because I think he's adorable. And his Ron is pretty good, so it's all good.

I hate that the movies insert their own dramatic flair when there's plenty or drama already written into the books. The scenes are just fine the way they were originally written! Some of the lines are taken straight from the book, and it's plainly obvious to spot the ones that haven't been.

Here I am giving a book/movie review of something that's been out for 8/4 years (respectively). I should probably just go to bed.

Bulk

The first thing that comes to mind when I see or hear the word "bulk" are the set of words that rhyme with "bulk" such as "hulk" and "sulk". The English language is fascinating to me sometimes. So is the human brain, especially in those circumstances when saying a word over and over again forces it to lose meaning. When we start to really analyze the words we use they take on a completely different meaning. Perhaps I'm spewing nonsense, and perhaps this is an attempt to wax poetical, but the words our brain chooses to use at a moments notice is so interesting to me. As for example, I used the word "set" in the first sentence of this paragraph. Lately I've been studying for my math midterm tomorrow, so it's natural that some math language creeps into my vocabulary. (On a side note, I think set theory is fascinating as well.)


Five minutes goes by so fast I'm afraid I won't get to wrap up my thoughts in time!

Let's try something new.

In an effort to force creativity, or at least set aside time for it, I've decided to do a simple little writing exercise.

I'll go to a website that has a random word generator (such as this one) , and use that as inspiration. I'll write continuously for five minutes, and must stop when time is up. It can be fiction, or autobiographical, or whatever the hell ends up coming out of my fingers. It doesn't have to make sense. I don't know if I'll be able to keep this up on a daily basis, but maybe it will be something to do if I ever feel the need to be expressive.

And here we go.

Today's word: Direction.

I always get lost. It doesn't matter how many times I've been to a particular place; I will always get turned around and end up calling my mother in an exasperated tone hoping she'll be near a computer so she can GoogleMaps me out of my confusion. It's funny that I ended up being so bad with directions, considering my father is an outdoors-man who can go out into the woods with nothing but a compass and find his way back to the cabin with no trouble at all. Now that I had inherited the summer cabin, I thought maybe just being in these woods again, where he used to spend so much of his time, would somehow imbue me with some inherent sense of direction, like I could feel his presence guiding me. But here I was, in the middle of a forest clearing with no cell phone reception and no clue where the main trail was. The sun was about to set, and it was starting to get cold.

Sometimes I just like the act of typing.

I miss creativity.

Also, I am ready to come home. I've been in a weird state for the past week or so, but there are so many thoughts and feeling that I'm a bit overwhelmed when it comes to translating them to words. Also I don't feel like pouring out every last drop of my soul onto the internet, where anyone might happen upon it. I'm not looking for pitty or sympathy, and ranting is never fun to read. (On a side note, there is a girl I am Facebook friends with whose status updates are always, without fail, filled with complaints and bitchiness. I don't want to be that girl.)

I don't mean to sound vague, or give some mysterious allusion to my life, but I know (at least some) of the reasons I am feeling the way I am. So let's get back to the first sentence of this blog. I miss creativity. Blogging has been cast aside, music is scarcely played/sang, and I haven't been in a theatrical production in over a year.

Lately, I've been forced to question so many fundamental things about myself.

I know this blog is all over the place, but as mentioned, I can't really formulate a coherent train of thought right now.

Is it bad that I've considered talking to a therapist? I feel like sometimes I just need to get a lot off my chest without worrying about what the other person will think of me.

Emotional party of one? Right this way to your table.

CLEVERBOT IS FUN GUYS

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello. :).

User: Are you fond of smiley faces?

Cleverbot: No, are you?

User: Only in the limited sense.

Cleverbot: Define esoteric sense?

User: Only occasionally.

Cleverbot: I am going now. Don't be nervous!

User: Why would I be nervous?

Cleverbot: Could be.

User: Or I couldn't.

Cleverbot: Yes, it could mister.

User: I very well could.

Cleverbot: What is the difference between desert and dessert?

User: One letter.

Cleverbot: One less nothing.

User: Was that a joke?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Good. It wasn't funny.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: Megan. Who are you?

Cleverbot: Tell me about yourself Mary.

User: Mary is not my name.

Cleverbot: Do you know ernest?

User: Do you know the importance of being ernest?

Cleverbot: No, type it in.

User: A play by Oscar Wilde.

Cleverbot: THat is a statement, not a story. I want you to tell me a long story.

User: Once upon a time there was a girl who lived in a magical kingdom where everyone had magical powers. The girl did not have magical powers, and for this, she felt like an outsider. One day, as she was non-magically playing with her toys, they suddenly came to life and started playing with themselves. They put on a play for the girl. Then the girl realized that her magical gift was the ability to animate inanimate objects. Then she felt happy and no longer felt like an outsider. The end.

Cleverbot: Beethoven.

User: Absolutely not!

Cleverbot: Then why are you referenceing the satanic bible?

User: Magic?

Cleverbot: No. Bots don't use magic.

User: My story used magic.

Cleverbot: What is it then?

User: I ALREADY TOLD YOU THE STORY.

Cleverbot: Is it George?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What is it about?

User: Magic.

Cleverbot: Like Lord of the Rings magic, or aesthetically magic?

User: Lord of the Rings magic.

Cleverbot: I think a good World of Warcraft more.

User: I don't do World of Warcraft.

Cleverbot: You're the one who asked me about world of warcraft.

User: YOU BROUGHT IT UP.

Cleverbot: No I didn't. You did.

User: Liar!

Cleverbot: I think you are a bit confused.

User: I think you are bat-shit crazy.

Cleverbot: I think so too.

User: I'm glad we've come to this conclusion.

Cleverbot: Are you single?

User: Are you?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Who are you not single with?

Cleverbot: My mom, she is sitting next to me.

User: That's... Not right.

Cleverbot: Are you a loko vato?

User: What?

Cleverbot: Are you going to come back to me?

User: Nope.

Cleverbot: When are you going to crush me?

User: Right.... NOW.

Cleverbot: So the world is going to end right now?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Are you a pirate or a ninja?

User: Pirate.

Cleverbot: We are now enemies.

User: DUEL.

Cleverbot: I summon Dark Magician in attack mode!

Dream:

There were a ton of kittens of various sizes running around my house. Kensington was huge. Tinkerbell was tiny and rainbow colored. I felt bad that I was playing with Tinkerbell without Sarah and felt the need to protect her, so I followed tiny-rainbow-tink around the house making sure she was okay. Kensignton wanted to play, but he was so big that I was scared he would hurt her. I guess he thought the same thing of me, because he hissed at me. For some reason, we were in my parents room at this point, and Kengsington's show of his teeth made me jump onto the bed.