College: Round 2

I've wanted to write a blog post for a while but I don't know if I have the strength or focus to keep this up. In a couple of hours, I will have been back at school for one complete week. Coming back to school wasn't as dramatic as it was last year. I said goodbye to less friends, and moved into the exact same room. I'm sleeping in the exact same bed with the exact same sheets. It's nice, because I'm falling asleep in a familiar place, which means I'm falling asleep faster.

Sleep is very important here.

I'm so exhausted right now, for no real particular reason. Today was the first day of class, but I only have one 9am math discussion today (which I might not go to most weeks...). I spent the day running around South Campus looking for my classes, buying things and picking up my books at Ackerman, and watching television on my laptop through a handy tv tuner I picked up at Best Buy the other day. I also went to the gym, and then later to Westwood with Amanda and Jessye.

I'm sorry for the laundry list of what I did today, but my mind isn't the most inspiring at the moment. It's only the first day and I'm exhausted. Truth be told, I'm glad that classes are starting. The last couple weeks of summer were a weird sort of limbo, and this last week of pseudo-summer was a weirder kind of limbo. I'm back at school, with my school friends, but we're not doing anything. I've been waking up with no purpose to the day, which is liberating but also kind of boring. My days have had no structure, and I'm anxious to get back into a routine.

This quarter should be a good one. I'm taking Linear Algebra, Introduction to Digital Systems, Software Lab, and Shakespeare. I'm also auditioning for a capella this quarter. I'm trying to be optimistic, but a capella groups and competitive, and there aren't many open slots. I'm only signed up for two auditions, though I may want to sign up for more if I want a better chance and getting in somewhere. This is a large, large school, and many people can sing. The auditions are next week, and I'll let you know how it goes.

Now's about the time to settle down and let myself get sleepy before stretching out in my extra long twin bed and dreaming of college plans yet to come.

I'm no more than a friend, girl

Sometimes I think that I really don't understand people, or the relationships they make with each other. It's always easy to be an outside observer, making opinions and drawing conclusions and generalizing a person's being. It's scarier to actually know somebody from the inside out. Maybe this is where my left brain takes over, because to a certain extent, people's actions and thoughts perplex me beyond belief.

It's getting to that time of the night where my thoughts become muddled and emotions run high. Especially so because I'm leaving home in about a week, and my life is once again going to take a 180. I'm ready to go back to school, since I am unbelievably bored here, but I will miss my strong-yet-small group of homefriends. I'm also in this weird state because I'm an idiot who likes to know too much for her own good. A curious idiot. I think this lack of understanding of people is what leads to a general mistrust of them. I'm always second guessing everything about myself and everything people say or do around me.

It has a tendency to isolate me from the people I'm closest to, and I let myself over-analyze and over-think until I'm a puddle of a person with a completely disoriented perception. Sometimes I wish I could just get over myself and be the person I really want to be. But who the hell knows who that is? I sure don't.