Just some more spoiled teenager angsty stuff. Feel free to look away, it's kind of messy.

The past couple of days have been a roller coaster, as far as my emotions are concerned.

It started with the accident, of course. It was terrible, but at least I would get a rental car. I would be able to drive anywhere, and it would definitely be nicer than the van, which makes my hands smell after I drive it.

Then I talked to Mrs. Birdsall, who said that I might not be able to drive it because rental car companies usually require you to be 25. So I did research. And she was right. You had to be 25 to drive, 21 and pay a fee. So I talked to my dad. And he said he'd call the company, and that I may be right. He didn't look so worried as me.

Today I got an email from him saying he talked to AAA, and I WOULD be able to drive the car after all. I was happy, but only until we were in the car on the way over.

"So I can drive the car even though I'm a minor?"
"Yeah. I told asked the guy at AAA if my 18 and 20 year old daughters could drive the car, and he said Yeah, as long as they're covered under your policy."
"I'm 17."
"I forget how old you are sometimes."

And then I was worried. When we got there, everything seems like it will work out. And then my dad volunteers that I'm 17, and the lady behind the counter said AAA won't authorize it unless I'm 18. Becky can drive it, but I can't. To my surprise, my dad follows the lady out to the back where the cars are kept. I can't drive it - the one who is affected by all this - yet we're still renting the car? Furthermore, how were we going to get it home? Mom was at work, Becky doesn't come home for five more days, and I can't drive dad's car, which is not only a brand new Mini Cooper but also a manual. He checks it out, and agrees to rent it. While it's getting washed, my dad tries to make small talk and suggests that I ask my mom if I can drive HER car, which makes me even more upset, because knows full well that my mom would never let me drive her car. After lots of waiting, switching cars because my dad doesn't want one with a GPS system less it gets stolen, and some more waiting, we can leave. And guess who is driving the car home? ME. He drives across the street to another parking lot, gets out, and goes to retrieve his car, leaving me to drive it home.

My parents never break the rules, especially my dad. I was so mad that he was letting me drive the car home, but not ever again. I suppose we could have driven home and then driven the van back to the rental place so he could pick up his car. That would have been alright. But it was easier to just let me drive it home. But you know what would be easy? LETTING ME DRIVE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. I don't even understand why we got the car TODAY, because it's going to sit outside until WEDNESDAY, when my sister comes home. My parents have no reason to drive it, and I CAN'T drive it. This is such bullshit.

Last night my dad wouldn't let me drive as far as Jessica's because he didn't want me to drive the van other than absolutely necessary. He was even hesitant about letting me drive it to school everyday. I found this so absurd, given the fact that he was ready to drive it up to San Fransisco last week, that I left the house and didn't return until I knew he would be asleep.

He knows I'm upset, and came into my room a few minutes ago to tell me that I can drive the van anywhere, as long as it's in short trips. Since Saturday, the automatic transmission fluid hasn't gone down at all, which means it should be ok, as long as I'm careful. Well jeez, I know that. I've known that. When I drove the van pre-Honda, and when I drove the van this week to get lunch, dinner, etc, I've always made sure we went somewhere within 10 miles. I've ALWAYS been concious of the fact that the van could break down. I've been taught how to refill the autmatic transmission fluid, and I won't have to call daddy if the van comes to a standstill. I'm not a helpless little girl. I got into an accident on Tuesday, and while maybe an excellently skilled driver could have avoided it, I didn't. It wasn't my fault. I was hit. I will take some of the blame for this accident. But my dad is acting like I'm the one who caused it.

"Do whatever you want."

What I want is to drive the car we were going to rent for me.