I'd like you to meet someone:

(it's not perfect...don't judge me)


Yes, it's a Blueridge like Kevin's, and is pretty much the same size and shape and sounds the same and looks the same, and is basically the same, but it IS a different model. And while part of me feels bad for copying him, part of me doesn't because the guitar I got is a damn good guitar. And I will have it for years and years. So I SHOULD have a guitar I love, and not one I sort of like, but is different enough to ease my conscience. I'm happy with it. So should the rest of the world. I also felt bad because I got it as Starving, and had a guitar on hold over at Showcase. But that was just me being stupid and scared. I came home, called Showcase up, and told them they no longer needed to keep it on hold. Whatever. Hell be damned. I don't care.

This weekend has lasted an enternity, and I'm not sure how. Friday night I went over to Steph's for the night, which probably had something to do with that. Friday blended into Saturday, which was divided up into 3 parts: coming home, going to Showcase with Kevin, and going to Christina's party. Today was also divided up into getting my guitar at Starving, doing odd errands like buying blankets and frames, and then working on Calculus. AP testing makes me hate life. My civics test is a week from TOMORROW, and my calc test is a week from Wednesday. Five tests are just too much. Cannot function. Too much to do. Explode.

Little Women is contributing to that. WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS AT THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR?! Our set is kind of depressing, because it's poorly designed. Bill is disappoiting. He fell asleep in rehearsal the other day. And he doesn't give acting notes. The closest he comes is when he looks me, and says "Hm...you're almost there, but I'm not getting some of it," after a run through. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? You suck.

As you'll have noticed by my last post, I finally made a decision as to where to go to college. I made it two days before I turned 18. I'm happy with my decision, and I don't care what anyone else thinks. UCSD is a good school too, but I felt like it was the safe choice. I didn't NOT want to go to UCLA because I was too scared to. San Diego offered comfort in the form of Becky - she would be there, and my parents had already done this stuff before. It wasn't new. But as I am growing up and venturing out into the world, I decided to take a risk. UCLA is different and new, and I'm looking forward to learning and growing there over the next four years.

I've decided that you can't force relationships. So I'm not going to try anymore. I'm just going to do what I do, and if you don't like that, to hell, my dear, with you.